Steven G., 61, is an image consultant. He is experiencing a changing image of his own. He is gregarious, friendly, smart, and funny. He has many quips to help explain the twists and turns of his life. Currently, he helps female ex-offenders manage their image as they prepare to re-enter the job market.
Steven has had a similar transitional experience. He now lives in the Next Step transitional housing program. For Steven, “Drugs were the ultimate remover in my life. Everything I loved and worked for they removed.” 
Steven grew-up in an orthodox Jewish home with a live-in uncle who owned a pharmacy. He also lived with an alcoholic father, who emotionally and physically abused him. “Sometimes he didn’t talk for months — when I said he drank too much, he locked me in the closet…”
Like his uncle, Steven “… always wanted to be a pharmacist.” Steven graduated from the Massachusetts School of Pharmacy with honors in 1967. While in school, Steven was referred to as the “wizard of pharmacology.” He studied hard — and still does — but, while in school, he used every drug he studied. “I never used street drugs… I had a pharmacy!”
At age 17, Steven intercepted drugs coming to his uncle’s pharmacy and thus began his drug use. “A new drug (benzodiazepines) was delivered to the drugstore. Within 5 minutes, I opened the bottle of Librium and took 2 pills. I didn’t take the 25 mg. tablets…. this was the only time I didn’t take the maximum dose. I loved the feeling. From age 17 to 56, there wasn’t a day I didn’t have a controlled substance in my system… benzos, amphetamines, pharmaceutical cocaine and other stimulants.”
With a self-deprecating tone, Steven described other people who abused drugs by saying, “I wasn’t like them. I only used pharmaceuticals.”
Steven never used “hard alcohol”, but reports that “I have had about 12 beers and 2 sips of wine in my 61 years. I wasn’t going to be like my father — he was an alcoholic. All of my paternal uncles and grandfather were alcoholics. My mother’s relatives were teetotalers.” Teary eyed, Steven noted that “Now, I am worried about my two grandchildren.”
I lived by the Robin Hood theory of life: rob from the rich and give to the poor.” I provided 
drugs to the rich and famous… sometimes they paid me with favors, sometimes with money. I loved the power and money… I loved power most.” Steven then quips sarcastically, “But, I didn’t have a problem. In my stupid warped mind, I never thought that I was wrong. I used to give away money. It helped me rationalize and be sentimental… It helped me be important.”
Steven was married twice, noting that “I didn’t take wives, I took hostages.” “Two days after my first marriage, I committed adultery.” “My marriages didn’t end in divorce, they ended when my wife escaped.” 
“When I was 56, I got arrested by the DEA (Drug Enforcement Administration). They saved my life…. Steven pled guilty to three counts of possession of a controlled substance with intent to distribute. “I served 18 months of a 3 year sentence because of good behavior while in federal prison. I didn’t serve time, time served me. I have to give back someday… the government paid for me to get better… when I got arrested and in treatment, I was headed toward death, not prison. The year before I was arrested, I had 7 auto accidents, one just missing a head-on with a mother and child. I had a major problem.”
“The day after my court appearance following my arrest, I went to a hotel, I took 300 full strength aspirin, and said a solemn Jewish prayer in an attempt to suicide. After some time, somehow I went to the hospital and they saved my life.”
“I was a liar, cheat, thief, adulterer… I was the thief of hearts… I stole the hearts from the people who loved me. It’s hard to make amends.” “My daughter has forgiven me 100%, but I have not forgiven myself. My son and daughter are wonderful kids –- and they don’t do drugs, just an occasional drink.”
Steven states that, in addition to having a sexual addiction, he was also addicted to gambling. “I would bet 15-20 thousand weekly on sports. I did it to be a big shot. I would win 70 thousand during the football and basketball seasons and lose 100 thousand during the baseball season.” When his bookie insisted that he not bet anymore because of his betting patterns, Steven switched to the Massachusetts state lottery. He bet $500-$600 weekly to start, then 3-4 thousand weekly until his DEA arrest.
“I also was an eating addict… up and down weight… I took drugs to lose weight…. Now I shop to excess… I have 250 ties and just bought another one… what do I need that for.”
“Now, I love pipes, cigars, and cigarettes. You have to say yes to something… I love coffee too.” “Gambling and drugs and sex and stealing gave me the same rush. Dopamine is queen.”
Steven’s experience reflects an underlying addiction syndrome. The brain experiences pleasure as pleasure, regardless of its source. As a young man, his self-esteem was low; this made him vulnerable to the effects of psychoactive drugs that reliably made him feel better. During recovery, he “hopped” from one expression of addiction to another. As he has gained inner strength and an improved sense of self, his addictions weakened and declined in number.
Steven is now in his sixth year of sobriety from illicit drugs. “I don’t have to buy people anymore: they like me.” Steven is solidifying his new image with family, friends and co-workers.