John H., 64, is very happy, smart, warm, gregarious, sociable and charismatic. He has a beautiful
life that centers on caring for others. It wasn’t always that way.
John was born with his umbilical cord wrapped around his neck; survival was unexpected. He grew-up in a household with a brilliant mother who cared for the home and children, and a father who was a teacher and school superintendent. “It was a great life, but I stuttered and had a learning disability; I had trouble 
learning to read.”
His brother and two sisters were very talented and well educated. But school was difficult for
John. “I became a listener and a talker” “I developed an unbelievable inferiority… I just never measured up. I felt less a person….” “But, I was the most popular person.”
As a High School freshman, “I was devastated when I failed an exam… I could learn by listening but not by reading…” “I thought that something was very wrong with me.” “I adapted by becoming an athlete and a comic…” “I was a 
cut-up.”
John started drinking the summer after graduating from high school. “I was terrified of drinking” despite the fact that his family was able to drink moderately. John drank socially “like
most people.”
After finishing school, “I was a licensed funeral director and embalmer.” This experience exposed John to older men who were heavy drinkers. Soon, he started “alcoholic drinking.”
“I knew alcohol was taking over my life when I started to lie… I started to make excuses to my friends so 
that I could drink. I lost my job at the funeral home and got jobs that hid my drinking.”
“I was a heavy drinker from the start – 5-10 beers and 2-3 shots daily; later, I was drinking 20 beers and 2-3 shots of ginger brandy every day.”
“During the late stages of my drinking, I tried marijuana. I also bet $2.00 on the race of the week. But, I only had so much money; I wouldn’t waste my money on gambling or drugs – that was my drinking money.”
John tried to stop drinking during 1970. For the next 6 years, he repeatedly failed. He feared
Alcoholics Anonymous because he knew that, if he went, he would stop drinking. So, he tried to stop many other ways; but, he kept drinking.
“I knew I was going to die an alcohol related death… I didn’t think I could stop.”
During 1976, after drinking for several days, “I was disgusted with myself. I went into a bar; the owner wouldn’t serve me.” John wondered “Why is this happening to me? My wife didn’t want me at the house… there was no place for me… I was thinking about suicide when I got splashed by a passing truck. A voice inside of me said, its all over now Jay, you can go home. In that instant, everything changed and I accepted that I was an alcoholic… I surrendered.” 
“When George Vaillant unexpectedly introduced me to the audience at an alcohol conference, it was the first time I didn’t feel inferior.”
John H. will be sober for 30 continuous years in September of 2008.owhim.